Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos: Bravo

As we’re in the throes of Alexis Bellino’s disastrous return to RHOC, on the heels of Heather Dubrow and Tamra Barney’s returns to the same franchise, while also gearing up for the upcoming 16th season of RHOA when both Frick and Frack (a.k.a. Porsha Williams and Phaedra Parks) return as full-time cast members and Cynthia Bailey’s cheekbones become a friend-of, it seems like returning Housewives is a bit of a thing at the moment. But if you look back at the history of the franchise, it’s been happening fairly consistently all along.

The Institute recognizes almost 20 official returns, with very mixed results — shockingly, some of them even worse than whatever blackmail Alexis and Johnny J. are currently trying to propagate. So in honor of this long history, we thought we’d look back and see when a Housewife’s return has been worth it, when it’s been a flop, and when they should have probably just found some new sucker with a terrible husband to fill that slot instead. This ranking is based on how much of an impact the Housewife made upon her return, the longevity of that revival, and a little bit of subjectivity based on if I like her or not.

First, some ground rules. Each return needs to have been a full-time Housewife first (sorry, Kathy Hilton), but her return can be as either a fruit holder or a friend-of. Stopping by a party or doing the odd scene as a guest does not count as a return. Everyone needs to have been fully gone from the show for at least a season. People like Jacqueline Laurita — who was full-time, then a friend, and then full-time again without a break — don’t count. Same goes for Kenya Moore, who made just enough guest appearances to never really go away. (Well, until the most recent thing.) And, finally, these are returns to Housewives proper, so anyone returning to a non-Housewives show, spinoff, or an Ultimate Girls Trip is disqualified.

With that, let’s assess who made the most of her second chance.

Lauri Peterson (RHOC 1-4 & 8)

The original poor Housewife, Lauri was a fan favorite who married a rich dude who saw her on television. She left halfway through season four to focus on her family, and when she came back as a friend-of, it was to a totally different show that she was not cut out for. The only impact she made on her return was accusing Vicki Gunvalson of having a three-way, which led to the famous line “I’ve never been with multiple partners in my life,” but that was Vicki’s triumph, not Lauri’s.

Taylor Armstrong (RHOBH 1-3 & RHOC 17)

The only Housewife to ever change franchises, Taylor turned a good turn on Ultimate Girls Trip into an invite back. But after she got that invite, she barely showed up to the OC party and often felt like an also-ran.

Heather Thompson (RHONY 5-7 & 13)

The queen of holla turned out to be a not-so-great hollaback girl. The less said about the doomed 13th season that led to a full reboot, the better, but Heather could have been a good bridge between the OGs and newer Housewifes like Leah McSweeney and Eboni K. Williams. Instead, she just let Leah terrorize her without repercussions and never got back into the swing of the group. Heather deserved better.

Dina Manzo (RHONJ 1-2 & 6)

Dina left the show on good terms with her sister Caroline, but she came back to be a good friend to Teresa Giudice. Dina was always a bit ambivalent about reality fame, and her inaction didn’t help turn around one of the worst seasons in Housewives history, while we were waiting for Teresa to report to jail and subjected to those crazy twins and Amber Marchese’s terrible husband.

Katie Rost (RHOP 1 & 4)

The slick, put-together “ball and gala girl” from the first season is not the wild-eyed mess factory in a sloppy wig who came back a few years later; both the ladies and fans were worried about her. On a cast trip, she told Ashley Darby, “I’m sorry if I said you were dumb, maybe I meant you were stupid,” which was hilarious, but after that, she left in the middle of the night, never to return.

Lydia McLaughlin (RHOC 8 & 12)

On season eight, Lydia got bogged down in the eternal Alexis Bellino–Gretchen Rossi versus Vicki Gunvalson–Tamra Judge fight. Fans tired of it, and Lydia got the chop along with Alexis and Gretchen. She deserved another shot, but when she came back, she got stuck in the fight between Vicki and Kelly Dodd and Tamra and Shannon Beador. After two bites at the orange, it’s clear Lydia wasn’t made for this world, but we’ll always have her iconically awful Charlie Chaplin drag to giggle about.

Alexis Bellino (RHOC 5-8 & 18)

She was an annoying, stupid lady being controlled by a man the first time around, and it seems like that’s exactly true for her second stab at Bravo infamy. As much as we all may hate what she and John Janssen are doing to Shannon Beador, it’s admittedly been a major source of story line on a suddenly revitalized show. Alexis deserves a bit of credit for that, but it would be shocking if she were asked back.

Charisse Jackson-Jordan (RHOP 1-3 & 7-8)

Though she was the linchpin of the original, fantastic RHOP casting, Charisse never really brought it on-camera. She never featured in major story lines upon her return, but since she’s actual friends with much of the cast, having her around always made sense. Just her presence is enough to make Karen Huger foam at the mouth, so that’s at least worth a decent boost in the rankings.

Kim Zolciak (RHOA 1-5 & 10)

The only white cast member on the show, Kim left in a huff when planning for a group trip didn’t go her way, and she was rewarded with a spinoff. When she returned five years later, a white lady complaining about cockroaches in eternal enemy NeNe Leakes’s bathroom just hit different. Kim couldn’t see why, and it was clear she had to go.

Shereé Whitfield 2: The Revenge (RHOA 1-4 & 14-15)

It is my contention that Shereé Whitfield should never be fired because whenever she returns, she brings it. The only Housewife to come back twice, her third time holding a peach was perhaps her worst, though it did give us the iconic scene when her parolee boyfriend stands her up at an outdoor café in Philly. Season 15 was awful all around, but don’t punish Shereé! Given time, she would have shown up.

Camille Grammer (RHOBH 1-3 & 8-9)

The Housewife to do the biggest 180 in terms of viewer appreciation, Camille went from the clear villain of season one to the “But now we said it” savior of season two. She would turn up at a party once a year, and it was always nice to see her, so it was exciting when she returned as an official friend-of. Sadly, she managed to go back to villainy when she first argued for Brett Kavanaugh’s inclusion on the Supreme Court at dinner and then supported LVP when she left mid-season because of Lucy Lucy Apple Juice.

Danielle Staub (RHONJ 1-2 & 8-10)

It was absolutely genius to have Teresa’s nemesis returning as her sidekick, the loud-mouth Iago to Teresa’s Jafar. She gave us a number of memorable moments on her return, from her husband getting pushed in the pool to tugging Marge’s ponytail and destroying a suburban shop. Ultimately, Danielle showed us why she was fired the first time around, for fighting dirty, always being the victim, and getting a little too physical with the ladies.

Tamra Judge (RHOC 3-14 & 17-18)

If I had to guess the reason Tamra was fired the first time, I would say it had less to do with her performance and more to do with the hefty salary she was making. The seasons without her proved bland and a bit adrift. Since she’s been back, she pushed the story line about Jenn Pedranti’s cheating boyfriend and then got in the middle of Alexis and Shannon’s rivalry. No one stirs the pot like Tamra, but this time around fans are getting a little tired of her antics. At least Bravo is paying less for them.

Shereé Whitfield (RHOA 1-4 & 8-10)

Her tagline upon her first return was “Don’t call it a comeback, call it a takeover,” and she wasn’t wrong. Shereé got her peach back just in time to be the “bone collector” of season nine, the season Phaedra lied about Kandi trying to drug Porsha, possibly the best season of RHOA and one of the best seasons of Housewives. Her big mistake was siding with newly returned Kim Zolciak against newly returned NeNe Leakes in season ten. Again, she still shouldn’t have been fired!

Heather Dubrow (RHOC 7-11 & 16-18)

Fancy Pants has always been the richest one in the O.C., and that has always been a boon for the show. Her mob-boss-style dressing down of Shannon Beador; dealing with her friend Nicole James, who lied about suing Terry Dubrow; and her hatred of Noella Bergener gave her a barn burner of a season 16. This season, she’s showing newbie Katie Ginella why all the other ladies are scared of her. Thank God we have some class back.

Mary Cosby (RHOSLC 1-2 & 4-5)

It started with “You smell like hospital,” and Mary hasn’t eased up on the gas since then. She’s the unintentional comedic heart of Salt Lake who always says exactly what she means, no matter how rude or destructive. From negging Angie K. and sitting out group events to get McDonald’s on season four to going full throttle after new friend Brittani Bateman this year, Mary remains the world’s least likely Housewife, and no one does it quite like her.

Larsa Pippen (RHOM 1 & 4-7)

She was totally forgettable on season one, but when she returned, it was with a whole new infusion of social-media followers thanks to the Kardashians, a whole new job as an OnlyFans model, and a whole new face and body. But in those intervening years, she learned to play the game and is one of the most argumentative (if exhausting) of all the Housewives. Yes, her telling everyone Guerdy Abraira had cancer against her wishes was fiendish, but she’s one of the main reasons that Miami’s return has given us three top-tier seasons of drama.

NeNe Leakes (RHOA 1-7 & 10-12)

One of the best to ever play the game, NeNe’s return is the stuff of legend. She finally took down Kim Zolciak in season ten, found herself at the center of drama due to closet invaders in season 11, and then ended her Housewives tenure by walking out of a virtual reunion and slamming her laptop shut. Even when NeNe is in bad form (as she was most of season 12), she still delivers zingers, quips, and sound bites galore. What do we have to do to get her back again?

Bethenny Frankel (RHONY 1-3 & 7-11)

Yes, Bethenny had some great moments during her initial run (hello, Scary Island!), but most of her truly iconic moments — and few have more than her — are thanks to the stellar run during her return. We’re talking “Mention it all,” all the Berzerkshires trips, the drunken Mexico booze-a-thon, Boat Ride From Hell, her fights with Carole Radziwill, Ramona accusing her of not supporting other women, Sonja Morgan starting a “cheater brand,” and so many others. Those are all Bethenny 2-point-oh-no-she-didn’t. Too bad she left it all behind to become a TikTok scourge and Bravo antagonist. Some things are just too good to last.

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